


All the Things I Wasn't

by houdini74



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: 5+1 Things, Boys In Love, Committed Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mostly Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 18:33:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19279021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/houdini74/pseuds/houdini74
Summary: Five things that make David anxious before the wedding and one thing that doesn't.





	1. Colored Contact Lenses

He woke up, his heart pounding, covered in sweat. The wedding was two months away. 

He’d been searching for Alexis, looking through room and after room for her, knowing that she’d been kidnapped or that she had accidentally wandered into a sultan’s prison or something equally terrible. He had to find her, to give her the colored contact lenses she needed to fool her captors, but the harder he looked, the further away she seemed. He shuddered. The details were growing fuzzy as he came back to himself. Patrick’s hand was gently stroking his back.

“Shhhh.”

With a noise that was half sigh, half sob, he tucked himself into Patrick’s shoulder, letting his warm hands soothe away the nightmare until he drifted back to sleep.

The next morning he woke to find Patrick’s face on the pillow next to him, looking at him carefully. 

“What?”

Patrick reached out and ran his fingers gently along David’s jawline. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

David closed his eyes for a second. He opened them to see Patrick was giving him a soft, patient look.

“Alexis...just the usual...she was in danger and I couldn’t find her.” He took a deep breath. “I haven’t had a nightmare like that since she and Ted got back together.”

It was true. He used to have this nightmare all the time but it was as though he’d transferred his worries about his sister to Ted, trusting that Ted would send her contact lenses and passports if she needed them and that he didn’t need to worry any more. He wasn’t sure what had triggered the nightmares again after all this time. 

“Do you think maybe it’s because you’re about to move out of the motel and you won’t be sharing a room with her anymore?”

He started to shake his head before he reconsidered. He couldn’t remember the last time he and Alexis had both spent the night at the motel. Since he and Patrick had gotten engaged, he spent most nights at Patrick’s while Alexis was usually at Ted’s. Yet somehow, it seemed like they still spent a lot of time there together. In the morning, he would often stop by the motel to pick up a new sweater or to talk with Stevie before he went to the store and usually he and Alexis would spend a few minutes talking. He would tell her about Patrick and she would talk about Ted until one of them insulted the other and they started their day. 

He was going to miss her. They’d spent most of their lives on different continents, but their time in Schitt’s Creek had changed everything between them. In the past six years, Alexis had changed from someone he worried about and bickered with to someone he shared things with and bickered with. Other than Stevie and Patrick, she was the most important person in his life. 

“I think I need to talk to my sister.” Beside him, Patrick smiled and leaned across the pillow to kiss him tenderly.

“I think that’s a good idea.”

He stopped by the motel, hoping to catch Alexis. She was on her way out when he arrived, leaving him to have a forty-five minute conversation with his mother about which wig she should wear to Town Council’s Grand Opening of the new slide at the school playground. The next morning they were interrupted by their dad and were forced to endure a detailed update on the plans to upgrade the motel. 

That night he woke up again to the same nightmare. As he hid his face in Patrick’s shoulder and let him chase the dream away, he heard Patrick murmur. “Maybe you should just phone her?”

“Mmm?”

“Instead of trying to run into her by accident, maybe you should phone her and go for lunch?”

“Ha.” 

The feel of Patrick’s hands stroking up and down his back was making him sleepy. He hated the nightmares, but Patrick was so nice to him afterwards, maybe he didn’t need to talk to Alexis that badly.

“If you don’t call her, I will.”

“Fine.”

He usually loved how it sometimes seemed like Patrick could read his mind. Except in cases like this, when he forced him to do things he didn’t want to do. He wanted to pull away, to let Patrick know that he was annoyed, but instead he drifted off to sleep, his head resting safely on Patrick’s shoulder, Patrick’s fingers gently stroking circles across his back.

In the morning, Patrick brought him a cup of coffee and handed him his phone, giving him a pointed look. He sighed and texted Alexis, arranging to meet her for lunch at the cafe.

He waited in the booth at the cafe for Alexis. Predictably, she was ten minutes late. 

“Oh my god, David. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“You just look all tense and stiff, like Gwyneth Paltrow’s face that time she got too much botox.”

“Okay, you know my rules about dissing Gwyneth and everything is fine. I just…” He stopped, he hadn’t planned this part and he didn’t know what to say next. “Patrick made me come here.”

“Are things okay with you and Patrick?” His sister looked concerned. “He’s not pushing you away, is he?” 

“No he’s not pushing me away!” 

“Sometimes, these small signs can point to a much bigger problem in a relationship. I remember right before I broke up Harry Styles, how we totally didn’t go to our usual coffee shop for, like, two days in a row.”

“Okay, first of all, you dated Harry Styles for like a week. And second of all, Patrick and I are engaged!”

“Are you sure?”

“Am I sure we’re engaged? Yes, I’m pretty sure.”

“No, are you sure that everything’s okay. It’s okay to have doubts before your wedding.”

“Drink acid, Alexis.”

Twyla appeared by their table, carrying a couple of glasses of water. “Oh, we don’t have any acid but we do have orange juice if you’d like that instead.”

He ordered the orange juice and looked back at his sister. He wanted to have this conversation even less than he had before, but he knew Patrick would just make him do this again if he didn’t talk to Alexis this time.

“The nightmares are back. And Patrick thinks it might be because I’m worried about you because we won’t be sharing a room anymore and I won’t get to see if you’re okay, so he said I should come and talk to you.” The words were a torrent, like someone had opened a fire hydrant into the street.

“Oh my god, David. I’m fine. The most trouble I can get into here is accidentally ordering one of Twyla’s smoothies.”

“Alexis…”

“I can take care of myself, David.” Alexis slid out of the booth and left the cafe. 

Back at the store, he wrapped his arms around Patrick and buried his face in the crook of his shoulder. Patrick hugged him back, pressing a kiss beneath his jaw.

“I take it your lunch with Alexis didn’t go very well?”

He shook his head. Talking to Alexis had been a stupid idea, he should have known that she would make everything about herself instead of listening to what he was trying to say. He’d just have to live with the nightmares, at least Patrick would be there to make him feel better. 

It took him a long time to fall asleep that night, afraid that his argument with Alexis would make the nightmares worse. Eventually, he drifted to sleep with Patrick’s fingers stroking up and down his arm. 

This time, instead of searching for Alexis, he was chasing her down a dark hallway. No matter how quickly he ran, she ran faster, getting further and further ahead of him. He wanted to yell for her to stop, but he couldn’t catch his breath. He woke up, panting. He sat up, trying to shake away the dream. Patrick sat up beside him, wrapping his arms around him and kissing his temple.

Eventually, his breathing evened out and Patrick tugged him back down beside him on the bed. He curled up next to him and laid his head on Patrick’s chest. He wrapped his arms around Patrick and let him run his fingers through his hair until he fell back asleep. 

When he woke up the next morning, Patrick was sitting beside him in bed, texting someone. He leaned down to give David a lazy kiss.

“Morning, sleepy.”

Usually his nightmares faded quickly once daylight came, but this one stayed with him, lingering in the back of his mind, boosting his anxiety. He could feel it all morning and he could tell that Patrick could sense it too, his fiance going out of his way to touch his arm or rub his back whenever they were near each other. It wasn’t enough and by lunchtime he felt like he was going to crawl out of his skin. 

Patrick had gone to get lunch when Alexis came into the store. After their abrupt conversation yesterday, he wasn’t in the mood for more arguments with his sister. He crossed his arms and stared at her.

“What?”

“You were right.” 

He narrowed his eyes at her. “About what?”

“I’m going to miss you too, okay? And I don’t want to think about it because what if things go back to the way they were before? What if we hate each other again? Or we just drift apart until we never talk to each other again?”

They looked at each other for a moment. It dawned on him who Patrick had been texting when he woke up this morning. “Patrick texted you, didn’t he?” 

“Yes. Yup.” Alexis nodded. 

“We’ll still see each other. We could go for lunch once and awhile? If you wanted?” It seemed silly to make an appointment to see someone who he’d practically tripped over every day for the past six years, but he knew things were about to change.

“I’d like that. Plus I am your creative brand consultant.” 

He rolled his eyes at her. “Okay, well, if you do as much work as you did the last time, we’ll never see each other.”

“Oh my god David, I’m a consultant, I’m supposed to tell you what to do, not actually do things. It’s not my fault if you and Patrick can’t make your business a success.”

“Choke on an ice cube, Alexis.”

The familiar insults made it feel like they’d never had a misunderstanding. He grinned at her from behind the counter, waiting until she smiled back.


	2. Luxury Sweaters

He and Patrick were getting married in six weeks.

Stevie was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the red heart-shaped bed. Once, it would have made him feel uncomfortable to see her sitting there, but now it just made him want to laugh. Everything made him want to laugh these days. It was revolting. How had he become this person who was so...happy?

Giving his head a mental shake, he turned back to the other side of the room. Some of the happiness fell away as he stared at the racks of clothing and his anxiety rose. He didn’t know what he was going to do. There was no way that even a fraction of these things would fit in their tiny apartment. And even if they did, did he really want to take them all with him and make them part of his new life?

He wasn’t sure anyone entirely understood what his clothes meant to him. He wasn’t entirely sure that he understood it himself sometimes. It wasn’t just the status of the designer labels or the way the high end fabric felt against his skin. The clothes made him feel stronger, they ran interference between him and the world, when he’d been alone, they had protected him and made him feel secure. Of course, he wasn’t alone anymore.

In a weird way, he’d come full circle. He still had a lot of clothes and once again, he had nowhere to put them. Everything else had changed, but he was still left with the same dilemma.

“Do you remember what you said to me?” Stevie was looking at him from her spot on the bed.

“What?”

“When you needed somewhere to put your clothes. Do you remember what you said?”

He shook his head. The stress and confusion of those first days and weeks in Schitt’s Creek had blocked out most of his specific memories. 

“I think you said that these clothes were all that you had, that everything else had been taken from you.”

“Okay?” He looked up from where he was trying to separate the clothes he wanted to keep from the ones he wanted to get rid of. So far, everything had gone into the keep pile.

“I’m just wondering if you still feel the same way?”

“What? Of course not.” It astounded him that she was even asking. At the same time, he couldn’t believe how much things had changed. When he’d first put his clothes in this room, he never would have dreamed that someone would want to marry him. But here he was. He looked at the mound of clothes. He had always hidden behind them, secure in the knowledge that people would see the black and white sweaters and not look any deeper to see the person inside them. For years and years that had been true. Until Stevie. And Patrick. 

“So maybe, it might be easier to give up some of your clothes now than it was six years ago.” He grimaced at her. Even though he’d let her and Patrick inside his defences, that didn’t mean he wanted other people to see him more clearly. 

There was a casual knock at the open door. He looked over to see Patrick standing in the doorway, a smirk on his face as he looked around the room.

“Stevie, how come you don’t have photos of this room on your new website? Seems like it would be a great selling feature.” 

David could tell that Stevie was about to say something inappropriate, probably about the time the two of them had spent in this room, so he cut her off. “Don’t you have sheets to change or towels to fold or something?”

“And miss out on what I’m sure is about to be an amusing conversation between you two?” She rolled her eyes and headed for the door. “Have fun in here, but not too much fun.”

He and Patrick watched her leave before Patrick turned to him. “Um…? Wait, are you blushing?”

“No. Yes. Fine.” He pulled a stack of clothes off of one the racks and set it on the bed. “This...um...might be where Stevie and I...you know.”

He snuck a look at Patrick, not sure what reaction to expect. He let out a deep breath when he saw that Patrick was laughing at him. 

“Normally, I would say that sounds very adventurous, but given what I know of your history, it seems a bit tame.”

“Okay, well, we didn’t have much to work with!”

“Uh huh. What are you doing?”

“Going through my clothes.”

“Going through your…” He watched as Patrick looked around the room, taking in the racks of clothing for the first time. “Wow.” 

He followed Patrick’s gaze. The back half of the room was filled with wardrobe boxes and suitcases and a couple of clothing racks, all of which were filled with clothing.

“We’re going to have to move.” Patrick gestured at the clothes. “I mean, I assumed we would anyway, but I had no idea.” He seemed kind of overwhelmed and David put down the clothes he was holding and went to stand beside him. He put his hands on Patrick’s shoulders. 

“Stevie says I can keep things here for awhile longer, but I thought I should start going through everything.”

Patrick looked at the piles on the bed. On the left, a large stack of sweaters and shirts threatened to topple over. On the right, he’d placed two of his older Givenchy shirts, neither of which fit him anymore.

“I’m not sure that getting rid of one percent of your clothes is going to be enough to make a difference.”

He knew Patrick was right, but he made a face at him anyway. With a sigh, he sat down heavily on the bed. The pile of sweaters gave into gravity, falling over on top of the other shirts, merging the two piles back into one.

“Hey.” Patrick sat beside him and put an arm around his shoulders. “We’ll find a new place to live. One that has a walk-in closet for your clothes. Or a second bedroom. Or maybe a second story.”

“Proper clothes storage is no laughing matter.”

“You’ve been keeping your clothes in an empty motel room for the past six years.”

“And I’ve suffered every day.”

“Have you?” Patrick’s fingers were scratching gently at the short hair at the back of his head. It was very distracting.

“Mmm hmm.” 

“Why don’t you tell about how much you’ve suffered?” Patrick’s fingers were trailing gently behind his ear, hitting the sensitive spot that was almost, but not quite ticklish. With a laugh, he pushed Patrick over, pinning him on the bed and kissing him, softly at first and then more urgently. Patrick returned his kiss and then without warning, Patrick tensed and his body was still.

“David?” Patrick sounded confused. “Did you know there’s a mirror on the ceiling?”


	3. Jam Sandwiches and Superheroes

He didn’t want to have this conversation.

They probably should have had it months ago, when Patrick had proposed, or even before then. Definitely before they’d started planning the wedding, before they’d looked at houses together, before he’d fallen completely in love with Patrick. Now it was just two weeks until the wedding, and they’d never talked about it. He hadn’t wanted to talk about it at all, so he’d kept putting it off. Patrick was everything, but he knew if this went badly it could be enough to end things. He paced around the front room of the store, trying to make it look like he wasn’t pacing. He could feel Patrick watching him so he went into the back room.

It was Jocelyn’s fault, really. She’d come into the store with Rollie Jr. looking for the applesauce that he liked. David had never seen a kid eat so much applesauce, although his experience was admittedly limited. As she dug in her purse for the correct change, she’d foisted Rollie off on Patrick.

As Jocelyn searched her bag, Patrick set the kid on the edge of the counter, holding him gently and easily while he made faces at him. Rollie giggled, waving his hands in the air. Jocelyn finally found the extra quarter she was looking for and handed it to David before picking up the bag of applesauce and retrieving her son.

“You’re a natural! Maybe you should have one of your own!”

“Sure…” Patrick had responded as Jocelyn had left the store, causing David’s heart to sink as he realized they had never talked about having kids. And now, here he was, fully in love with Patrick, in love with someone who might want something fundamentally different than he did. 

He leaned against the desk, hands clenched. He knew things had been going too well. His thoughts started to spiral. What if Patrick did want kids? He couldn’t reconcile that, they’d probably have to break up. He’d have to give up the best thing that had ever happened to him because of something he couldn’t compromise on. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. Moments later Patrick came up beside him.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Patrick reached over and unclenched his hands, slipping his warm fingers between David’s. 

David opened his eyes and took a deep breath. “I don’t want kids. They’re loud and sticky and they always need something and I...I just don’t like them.” 

“I know.” Patrick squeezed his fingers gently. 

“What do you mean you know? We’ve never talked about this.”

“Did you think you were keeping some sort of secret? I’ve seen you with kids.” Patrick disentangled one of his hands and reached up to run a finger along the crest of David’s cheek.

“You’re not going to tell me that I’ll change my mind or I’ll feel differently once I have kids or it’s just my anxiety or that I just need to meet the right person? You are the right person, you’re the only person, but I still don’t want kids.”

“Are those all things that people have said to you?” 

“I mean...not that anyone I was in a relationship with ever talked about having kids, so not in so many words, but in a general sense, yeah. Yes.”

He remembered being a teenager and being berated by one of his dad’s relatives when he had said that he hated kids. His parents had never made a big deal about it, their own parenting skills not leaving much room to express an opinion on whether other people should have children, but other people had lots of opinions. For the most part his strategy of avoiding kids whenever possible had worked pretty well, but Patrick deserved more than that if he wanted it. Patrick’s fingers were gently teasing the hair at the back of his neck, it was taking away some of his tension.

“What about you?” He didn’t want to look at Patrick. He couldn’t not look at him.

For a second, Patrick looked like he was about to make a joke before thinking better of it. His face was serious when he looked at David. “When I was with Rachel, everyone just assumed that kids would be the next step and I just went along with it. Everything felt so wrong, I couldn’t untangle one thing from the other. And now...” Patrick’s voice trailed off and he looked away. It was David’s turn to squeeze his fingers around Patrick’s. He waited for him to continue. Patrick sighed and looked back at David.

“Having kids feels like part of my old life. Like it’s one of those things that I left behind when I came here and met you.” David smiled at him, relieved and a little bit sad at Patrick’s admission about his past. He brought the hand that wasn’t tangled with Patrick’s up to rest on Patrick’s shoulder, squeezing gently.

“I don’t think I really wanted kids then and I know don’t want them now.” Patrick’s voice was low and fond. “I just want you.”

“Okay, but just now as you were making Rollie laugh, you seemed pretty happy.”

“David. There’s a big difference between entertaining someone else’s kid for two minutes and having one of your own.”

“It’s all the same to me.” The thought of spending two minutes with Rollie gave him the same shudder of distaste as having kids of his own did.

Patrick was laughing at him now, his brown eyes shining as they looked at David. “I can spend an entire day with kids without wanting to have any, but after that it’s like they’re contagious…”

“Okay.”

“...and I just have an uncontrollable desire to finger paint and eat jam sandwiches and play superheroes.”

“No. Nope.”

“Not even if I get you your own cape?”

“I want a divorce.”

“Too bad we’re not married yet.”

“You’re the worst.” He tightened his grip on Patrick’s shoulder and pulled him close. He couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face as he bent to kiss his fiance. “I can’t believe I said I’d marry you.”

“I can’t believe that either.” The teasing was gone from Patrick’s voice and he was soft and serious. “I guess we’re in it now.”

“I guess we are.” He kissed Patrick one more time, a kiss with love and relief and joy.


	4. Trips to New York

“David, I have good news.”

His mom burst into the store without saying hello. Thankfully, there was a small lull in their traffic and Patrick had taken advantage to run across the street for coffee. 

“If this is about the doggy water fountain that Patrick had installed outside, I already know about it.” He’d been opposed to the idea at first until he’d seen how many people were willing to stop and shop if they had somewhere to leave their dogs. If only they could install a similar device that would encourage people to leave their kids outside when they came into the store.

“No, David. I’ve been offered an audition. It’s for an off off off Broadway play, but this could be the thing that reignites my career.”

“Okay. Are you sure this isn’t a repeat of the Crows movie, though?” He didn’t really want to relive the experience of watching his mom get her hopes up only to have them dashed again.

“David! The audition is in New York next week. You must come with me.”

“Okay, well, I can’t come to New York with you next week.” Out the front window, he could see a woman with a short, reddish dog stop at the new water fountain. The dog lapped at the water eagerly, his white nose poking into the bowl.

“What could you possibly be doing next week that’s more important that this?”

“Um..I’m getting married on Saturday!?”

Naturally his mom would find a way to shift the focus of their wedding to herself. “Can’t you just postpone the wedding?”

“Postpone the wedding that I’ve spent a year planning? No, I can’t postpone the wedding!”

“Surely Patrick wouldn’t mind…”

“Patrick wouldn’t mind what?” His fiance had come in the door of the store with the coffee while he was focused on him mom’s ridiculous request. David gave him a helpless look, hoping Patrick could see that his mom shouldn’t be taken seriously. Patrick winked at him and his anxiety dropped a notch or two.

“David, I don’t understand you. You and John and Alexis, you’re all so determined to make the best of this place, to settle down here when the most important thing has always been to escape this town. You understood that once.” With that, his mom swept from the store, closing the door a little too firmly behind her. 

“What is it that I’m not supposed to mind?”

He laughed, the entire situation was absurd, even for his mother. “Nothing too significant, just postponing the wedding so I can go to New York.”

“You’re not serious.” The look on Patrick’s face changed from amused to concerned and maybe a tiny bit angry.

“No, no, no. No.” He hurried to reassure Patrick, who still looked worried. “My mother was serious, but I’m not going anywhere. It took us three months to find the right venue, do you think I’d risk our deposit?”

“Well, as long as that’s not the only thing keeping you here.” He hoped Patrick was joking. He had no desire to go to New York, the only thing he wanted was right here in front of him. 

“Hmm, maybe not the only thing.” He pulled Patrick towards him, reaching up to place his hand at the back of Patrick’s neck. David kissed him softly, then more urgently as Patrick’s lips parted and his tongue brushed across David’s lower lip. He wanted more, but he knew that Patrick would only go so far during working hours. Reluctantly, he pulled back just as the bell on the door rang and the first of a stream of customers filled their afternoon.

He could feel Patrick watching him throughout the afternoon, but every time he glanced over to him, he would look away. A small knot of anxiety started to form in his stomach. Surely Patrick didn’t think he was seriously thinking of going to New York? Or maybe Patrick had been looking for a way out after all this time? He knew that was stupid, that Patrick loved him, but the traitorous voice inside him started to poke holes in his Patrick-shaped security blanket.

By the time they were ready to go home for the day, they were both on edge. 

In their apartment, he threw himself onto the couch while Patrick changed out of his work clothes. Patrick came up behind him and handed him a glass of wine, pressing a kiss to the top of his head at the same time.

“Do you want to go to New York?” Patrick’s hand caressed the back of his neck.

“What?” He didn’t want to talk about his mom or her plans. They were getting married on Saturday and he had a thousand things to do between now and then. He looked at Patrick and saw a sliver of worry flicker across his face. 

“Not next week. But sometime. Do you want what your mom wants? To escape from Schitt’s Creek?” Patrick leaned over the back of the couch and slid his arms around David’s neck, resting his chin on his shoulder. 

He leaned his head against Patrick’s. He wanted to repeat the automatic denials he’d given Patrick earlier in the day, but he thought that he maybe owed Patrick a better answer.

“I thought I did. For a long, long time, that was everything I wanted. But you changed all of that.” He leaned forward to put the wineglass on the coffee table before reaching a hand up to cup the back of Patrick’s neck. Patrick placed a kiss at the base of David’s throat that made him shiver. “Do I want to spend the rest of my life here? I don’t know. But we’ll figure it out together.”

“Mmm.” Patrick kissed him again in the same spot and it was as though he’d lit a match beneath his skin. 

He gasped, just a little, and tilted his head back further. “There’s nothing in New York that could ever be as good as what I have here.”


	5. Cookies and Baseball

Patrick’s parents were scheduled to arrive tomorrow. 

It was three days before the wedding, Clint and Marcy had wanted to come a couple of days early to spend some time with them and to help with the wedding if they could. He should be happy to see them, but instead, the thought of this visit was making him tense and nervous.

David didn’t know why it was making him so anxious. He loved Marcy, they chatted on the phone nearly every week, most of the time he stayed on the phone with her longer than Patrick did. And while Clint wasn’t as expressive as Marcy, he could tell that Clint appreciated that David made Patrick happy. 

In some ways, he felt about Clint and Marcy the same way he’d felt about Patrick when he’d first met him. It seemed impossible that people like them could actually exist. Marcy who baked cookies and kept Patrick’s grade school report cards and who hugged them both so casually and easily. And Clint, who had played catch when Patrick was a kid and who texted his son about baseball and who treated David like one of the family. He almost expected that one day Patrick would confess that they weren’t his real parents, that they were actors he’d paid to portray the perfect family. 

He knew they weren’t perfect. Marcy had been quite cross with Patrick when he hadn’t told them about his recent bout of food poisoning and Clint had a tendency to assume that David didn’t like baseball because he didn’t understand it, which led to lengthy explanations that he didn’t care about. Nonetheless, they had welcomed him so warmly into Patrick’s life that they didn’t quite seem real. So why was he so anxious about this visit?

The next morning, he woke before Patrick, nerves driving him out of bed before seven o’clock. He made the coffee and put the kettle on for Patrick’s tea before curling up on the corner of the couch. Across the room, he saw Patrick come awake and reach to his side of the bed before sitting up and looking for him.

“Are you okay?”

He grabbed two mugs from the kitchen and filled one each with tea and coffee before coming back to the bed. He handed the tea to Patrick and tucked himself back into bed beside him. 

“Yeah. I’m okay. I just...I’m...I’m not really anyone’s idea of a model son-in-law. What if your parents wish you’d met someone else?”

Patrick reached across him to set his tea on the nightstand. He cupped David’s face in his hands and stroked his thumbs along David’s cheekbones.

“You’re an idiot. I love you, but you’re an idiot.”

“This isn’t helping me as much as you might think.”

“David. My mom adores you. She loves me. I know she loves me, but she adores you. And my dad…” Patrick cleared his throat. “...my dad loves that you make me happy. It’s going to be fine.”

“Yeah.” He knew Patrick was right, but the anxiety remained as he went through the rest of his morning routine. It wasn’t until he got out of the shower to discover a dozen text messages from his family about the wedding that his thoughts turned away from Clint and Marcy’s upcoming visit.

**Alexis 7:45 am: Did you remember to book the photographer?**   
_Mom 7:48 am: Have you seen the black and white bag that I was going to take to the reception?_   
**Dad 7:50 am: What time is the rehearsal dinner?**   
_Alexis 7:55 am: Ted might have to leave during the rehearsal dinner, he has a vet thing._   
**Mom 7:57 am: The Jazzagals are planning to do a medley of Flashdance and Living on a Prayer for the rehearsal dinner.**   
_Alexis 8:00 am: I’m going to post your wedding photos to the store’s instagram account so your customers can see them!_   
**Mom 8:05 am: Should I wear Clara or Valerie to the ceremony?**   
_Stevie 8:08 am: Did you tell Roland he could perform the ceremony? ‘Cause I would pay money to see that._   
**Alexis 8:11 am: I’m profiling your wedding in the new wedding planning section of my website.**   
_Alexis 8:13 am: Did you take my face mask?_   
**Alexis 8:14 am: Nevermind.**   
_Dad 8:20 am: Do Patrick’s parents want to have breakfast with us tomorrow?_

The last text made his stomach tie up in knots. That was the thing he’d been dreading, the unknown source of his anxiety. At some point, his parents and Patrick’s parents were going to have to spend time together. He could only imagine how his new relationship with Clint and Marcy might be damaged by that experience.

He came out of the bathroom to discover that Patrick was making pancakes. He wrapped his arms around his fiance’s waist and rested his chin on his shoulder.

“Is there a special occasion that I forgot about?”

Patrick shrugged and twisted so that he could kiss his cheek. “You seemed kind of stressed that my parents were coming, so…”

“Yeah, about that. I know what’s been bothering me. It’s not having your parents here, it’s having your parents spend time with my parents.” 

Patrick went still in his arms. “Oh, god.”

The morning was busy at the store. They would close at noon when Patrick’s parents arrived. It was the last time they’d be open for the next ten days and many of their regular customers stopped in to stock up on their usual purchases and to congratulate them on getting married. For most of the morning David lost himself in the usual rhythm of the store, helping customers, restocking shelves, so when the door opened just before noon he turned, expecting to see more customers. Instead, Patrick’s parents were coming in the door. 

He smiled as he watched Patrick hug his parents. Marcy turned to him and held out her arms. 

“David.” Marcy hugged him tightly. Beside them, Patrick and his dad were talking about last night’s baseball game. Marcy stood on tiptoe to whisper in David’s ear. 

“I know it’s a few days early, but welcome to the family.” He hugged her back. He wasn’t sure what it meant to be part of a family like Patrick’s but he wanted to find out.

In the morning, he and Patrick arrived at the cafe before everyone else. Twyla seated them at the large round table at the front of the room. 

He couldn’t stop fidgeting. Patrick put his hand on his knee. “It’s going to be okay.”

“Is it?” He knew he sounded desperate. In truth, there wasn’t much he wouldn’t give up if it meant this breakfast didn’t have to happen. Moments later, Clint and Marcy arrived, after an awkward shuffle of hugs, they sat on either side of him and Patrick, trapping them in the corner of the table. Moments later, his parents arrived.

“Hello, you!” His mom had pulled out all the stops for this morning. She was wearing a curly red wig that fell past her shoulders and a black and white vertical striped dress that stopped mid-thigh. Fish-net tights and her DSquared spine heel boots completed the outfit. She sat in the chair beside Marcy.

“Moira. You always look so elegant.” David looked at Marcy closely, he was used to Jocelyn’s backhanded compliments, but it appeared Marcy was serious. His mom preened under the attention.

“This thing? I’ve had it for ages.” It was true, his mom had had this outfit forever, what Marcy didn’t know was that it was probably worth more than the Brewer’s car. Regardless, it appeared that Marcy’s comment had broken the ice, he took a breath.

On his other side, Patrick, Clint and his dad were talking about baseball, or maybe basketball, something to do with sports. 

“Did David tell you that I am travelling to New York next week? I have a very important audition for an off Broadway play. To return to Broadway, to tread the boards again...alas, there is no one available to accompany me.” His mom gave him a pointed look, Marcy looked slightly confused.

“I thought Alexis was going to go with you?” He had talked to his sister yesterday at lunch about going to New York with their mom.

“Oh, I couldn’t ask Alexis to leave here, not with Ted and her work keeping her so busy.”

“But you wanted…” He stopped his protest as Patrick squeezed his knee in warning.

“Of course, this is simply a stepping stone, a means to an end if you will.”

“A stepping stone to what?” There was a note of caution in Marcy’s voice.

“To New York, where we truly belong. To finally do what we’ve wanted to do all along. Get out of this town.” The sweep of his mom’s hand took in Patrick, himself and his dad. Patrick twitched beside him and David moved his hand beneath the table, searching for Patrick. Patrick laced their fingers together, squeezing gently. David looked at Marcy, there was a look of concern on her face that he’d never seen before. His stomach tightened as his worries from the day before returned.

After breakfast, his parents headed back to the motel. Clint and Marcy insisted on paying for breakfast, so he and Patrick waited on the steps of the cafe for them. He still wasn’t sure how they were going to react to his mom’s declaration that the Rose family was biding its time to return to New York. He clenched his hands together. He wanted to run away. He wanted to pace in front of the cafe. Instead, he stood, paralyzed on the front steps of the cafe until Patrick came over to him and slipped his arms around his waist.

“It’s going to be fine. Unless you’ve changed your mind about skipping the wedding and going to New York?”

He could tell Patrick was joking, but for once the teasing didn’t seem funny. He pressed his lips together and shook his head. Before he could stop them, his eyes started to fill with tears.

“David? Sweetheart?” Patrick only called him that when he was truly worried about him. 

“I don’t want anyone to think that I don’t love you enough. That going to New York would ever be more important to me than you are.”

“No one thinks that. I don’t think that. My parents don’t think that.” 

He wrapped his arms around Patrick’s neck and pulled him close, burying his face in his shoulder. Behind him, he heard the door of the cafe open and Clint cleared his throat softly behind them. They pulled apart and turned to face Clint and Marcy. David hoped that they couldn’t see the traces of tears on his cheeks.

Marcy held his arm, patting it gently. “It’s not New York, but how about a trip to Elmdale? We can pick up your centerpieces and get some ice cream.”

“That sounds exactly like the kind of trip I want to take.”


	6. Hoodies and Pajama Bottoms

The wedding was tomorrow and he couldn’t sleep.

His skin was vibrating, as though little bursts of electricity were running beneath the surface making him tingle all over. It wasn’t nerves, exactly. He wasn’t nervous about tomorrow, whenever he thought about it, a sense of calm came over him, flowing through him like warmth from a fire. If anything, he was excited. Excited to see the decorations, excited to see the day unfold and most of all, excited to finally marry Patrick. 

He rolled over again. He could see Alexis’s empty bed, softly outlined in the faint glow from the light outside the motel room. Alexis had gone to Ted’s. She’d left reluctantly, repeatedly asking if he would be okay on his own. He’d insisted that he was going right to sleep, but he regretted it now. If she’d been here, he would at least have had someone to talk while he laid here alone in the dark.

It was Twyla who had first mentioned it. Explaining that her mom and her third husband had spent the night together before their wedding and that they’d gotten divorced ten days later. They had laughed it off, but when Jocelyn and Bob and even his mom had insisted that they spend the night apart and it had seemed easier to give in than it would have been to fight them on it. But that was before he’d been staring at the darkened ceiling for hours. So here he was, tired, alone, and feeling like he was going to burst out of his skin at any moment.

He was exhausted. Over-tired, probably, and he could feel the ache at the back of his eyes that meant that if he didn’t get to sleep soon, that morning would be nearly intolerable. He tried not to think about the bags that were forming under his eyes. He laid in the dark, attempting to clear his mind, but his thoughts kept returning to Patrick.

Normally, he avoided nostalgia. Deep down he still believed that if he thought too closely about what he and Patrick had that it might vanish, like some sort of childhood jinx. But tonight, he couldn’t help himself, the anticipation of tomorrow blending into his memories of what had brought them to this moment. His thoughts wandered back to the first time he’d kissed Patrick. Even after Patrick had kissed him back, he’d been so scared that Patrick might have regrets, that he wouldn’t be enough, or he’d be too much. He’d been unsure whether or not he’d destroyed a perfectly good friendship and business partnership. Instead, he’d set them both on this path that led them to this place.

He’d carried the notion that Patrick might have regrets with him from the first moment he’d kissed him. There had always been regrets, before. Except, it seemed with Patrick. Patrick who, from the beginning, had looked at him with such confidence, in him, in their relationship. So David had let that confidence carry him along, like a stick bobbing in a stream, letting Patrick’s belief in what they had hold him up, make him feel safe. But it wasn’t until Patrick had proposed that David had truly believed for once and for all that Patrick didn’t have second thoughts about what they had together. 

He smiled before squeezing his eyes shut in frustration. This was not helping him get to sleep. There was no moment of the past three years with Patrick that he could recall that would do anything other than make him feel even more awake. He fluffed his pillow, resisting the urge to hide his head beneath it. 

He checked his phone. It was just past midnight. He sighed. He had to get up early tomorrow, they had to be ready by eleven o’clock and with so many people, there was no way he’d be able to sleep in, even if he were able to sleep at all. He wished they’d ignored his mom and spent the night together. Any remnants of his insomnia always disappeared with Patrick in his bed. 

He was trying to decide if he should turn on the light and read his book when there was a faint knocking at the window. For a minute, he thought he’d imagined it when it came again, followed by a quiet whisper of his name.

He opened the door. Patrick was standing in the doorway, he was wearing a blue t-shirt and pajama bottoms. Over top, he’d thrown what David thought of as his hiking hoodie. 

“I couldn’t sleep.”

He smiled back at Patrick and held the door open for him to come in.

“Me neither.”

The excitement that had been zinging beneath his skin had increased the minute he saw Patrick at the door. It felt like an entire hive of bees was living inside him, buzzing and humming in harmony. As though he could sense it, Patrick reached out and touched his arm. Instantly, it was as though he had stepped into a pool of water on a hot day, the extra energy was gone, replaced by the calm that only Patrick brought him.

“You’ll have to leave before my family wakes up. Neither of us needs to deal with my mom first thing in the morning.”

“Oh, I’m confident that I can manage to get out of bed before the Rose family.” Patrick tugged off his hoodie, tossing it onto Alexis’s bed. 

“You’re very funny.” He sat on the edge of the bed, scooting over to make room. “Come here.”

The roughness in his voice caught him by surprise. Patrick wrapped his arms around him and he tangled their fingers together and stuck his feet between Patrick’s until their bodies were fully entwined. Patrick pressed his lips to the back of David’s neck and he shivered, just for a moment. He could already feel his body starting to relax as sleep started to claim him.

“I can’t wait to marry you, David.” Patrick’s voice was almost too quiet for him to hear.

“I can’t wait until we can sleep in a bigger bed.” In retaliation for his lack of seriousness, Patrick’s fingers found the ticklish spot at the top of his hip, making him jump. Refusing to give in to what Patrick wanted, he stayed quiet for a long moment until Patrick’s hand moved to tickle him again.

“I can’t wait to marry you, either.” Saying the words made his skin tingle again before Patrick nuzzled the back of his neck, kissing the spot behind his ear. “Goodnight, Patrick.”

“Goodnight, David.”


End file.
